New entry in my Kilt blog 9/21/2011

Monday, August 11, 2008

Old Fools Journal: Trash Can Physics

August 11, 2008

Why is there no research in how the force field around trash cans work? If this repulsing field were to be understood or it's use were to be discovered humans could go to the stars. The least that could happen is maybe we would have trash cans that suck in trash instead of repel it.

I understand that a lot of my problem of putting the trash in the can is due to my genetic sticky skin. Everything sticks to me. An example that applies to everyone is a fresh booger on your finger. It will not just drop off. It will stick to another finger thus the booger measuring system. If it will stick to one other finger then it is a 2 finger booger, if it first has to roll onto yet another finger then it is a 3 finger booger and so on. Multiple passes of a five finger booger is an amazing thing to behold. Otherwise you can wait for it to drop off but its more likely that your finger will drop off first and the last option is to wipe it off. You know, on the bottom of a chair, under a table or some other hidden spot.

When I get up from the toilet the seat gets up with me. If I sit on a plastic chair and get up the chair gets up with me if my skin touches it. No amount of washing and scrubbing solves this dilemma. But that is another problem that requires another solution the problem here is to solve the trash can dilemma. So now that you have an understanding of sticky skin on to the problem of trash cans and their ability to repel trash.

If I have something in my hand I want to drop it in the trash it will unstick from my fingers a fraction of a second after I release it (sticky skin) and fall on the floor next to the trash can. If I hold it directly over the center of the trash can it will take that beautiful curve akin to the curve ball in baseball to fall on the floor next to the trash can (trash can force field). If I toss it in and it happens to make it into the can it will invariably bounce off something in the can and land many feet away(delayed trash can force field). If it hits the rim it never bounces in but completely reverses direction picks up speed and sometimes lands in the next room under some piece of furniture (trash can force field with a vengeance). The only way I can put something in the trash at the first shot is to bend over and put it down in the can and scrape it off my finger.

I know that there is a force field around trash cans. Look at any trash can and the trash around it and there is proof enough.

I can just see it now.

Secret of trash can force field solved.
Trash cans are set to repel all trash into space.
Within weeks Earth is completely surrounded by trash.
With no sunshine Earth begins to die.
Trashcan force field is reversed.
All trash in space now returns burying all life in a mile of trash.
Moon arrives like a cherry on a sundae.
Garbage trucks are quickly fitted with trash cans set to repel and aimed at the Earth
Humanity sets out to trash Mars.

Trash can propulsion

This guy could solve this