Old Fools Journal: What's In A Name

Juliet:
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)


There is an evil spirit lurking in the universe that thinks up bad names and constantly pushes to have them hung on indefensible children. I have reminded friends over the years to be careful the name you hang on your kid.

My name is Richard and being the first male child born to the children of my grandparents John Richard and Sarah, that was the tradition. Their first male child born was named Richard but he was lucky and died before two years old. Their first child to have a male was my father who, of course was not Richard but his kid was and that would be me. Not the flashest of names but it is an honorable one that is hard to make fun of. My mother fixed that, she called me Dickie. I was very young at the time and unable to defend myself. That led to wearing the nickname "Dick" for most of my life. In my younger days that was no problem as it was not yet a derisive word becoming an alternate name for a penis for the unschooled. In those days that dubious honor was reserved for "Peter". It was not yet a negative description for someone who sticks it to you. Also people like Dick Nixon and Dick Cheney had not worked their magic yet sullying the name forever.

It really didn't become a problem for me until I moved to Mexico in the mid 1980's. It soon became apparent that "Dick" was a difficult word for the Spanish speakers to get around. The very best turned it into Deek. I quickly started using my real name "Richard" and since the Spanish equivalent is Ricardo it was an instant success and I became "Don Ricardo". When I came back to the USA in 1991 I continued to introduce myself as Richard and the worst problem I had was when someone would insist on calling me Rick or Ricky. Neither is my name.

After a few years I changed jobs which caused a shift in the people I associated with. About that time I had a brain fart and decided to start using "Dick" again (I know what you're thinking. See how easy it is to turn it into a joke?). What a mistake. In a ten year period it had become something you call someone or the name of that dreaded male appendage that turns Americans to stone if they happen to see one. It has been so bad that on a few occasions some would blush when I introduced myself. I have met many of both sexes that just cannot use the word as a name for fear I'll be offended. I'm sure that's because they only use "dick" offensively or in a joke. My grandson recently told a young friend that it is my name and that boy could not believe it being unaware that it was a name like Rick, Nick or Slick. No one thinks twice about using Peter, John, Concha or squaw as names or description but Dick is out (pun intended).

Needless to say even though it was my name for most of my very fortunate life I have forgone using it. I answer to it but no longer include it in any introduction or on any paperwork. My official name is Richard Thomas Herrington or so it says on my drivers license and DD214 but according to my baby book so carefully preserved by my mother and later by my sister it is Richard Thomas Swaim , the names of my grandfathers and my fathers last name. I knew myself as that until I was 12 or so and moved to a foreign land (Texas) to start life over. My biological father was born there so I guess it was like returning to the old country. I didn't stay long.

Herrington is my stepfathers name and I am proud to wear it as there has never been a finer man but that is not who I am. SWMBO (she who must be obeyed) says it is because I've gone by it for so long but I say that until you accept a new name in your own heart then it is not your name. In my heart I have never accepted it as mine.

I have over the years considered going to the trouble of changing it and subsequently changing my birth certificate to reflect who I really am. The birth certificate on file is useless to anyone trying to follow a family line as I have not a drop of Herrington blood in me. I could not bring myself to even discuss it with my stepfather for fear that it might offend him. I think it would not because he was a bigger man than that but I just couldn't take the chance. Now I'm just too lazy.

I am not the last Richard in my line as my sister's son is the last Richard. His name is not Swaim of course so I am the last Richard Swaim in this family line so far. You see I have a brother that I only just discovered and he has children. I don't know the status of his children or their children.

There are plenty more Richard Swaim's out there. If you think you are unique just Google your name.

Richard \r(i)-cha-rd\ is pronounced RICH-erd. It is of Old German origin, and its meaning is "powerful leader". Norman name commonly used for the last 900 years except in the 19th century. England's King Richard Coeur de Lion gave the name lasting impressions of kingliness and the exploits of a crusading knight. Ricardo is a popular Spanish and Portuguese form; Riccardo is Italian; Rikard is Scandinavian. English kings Richard I-III; rock celebrity Little Richard; composer Richard Rodgers; actors Richard Burton, Richard Kiley, Richard Gere, Richard Chamberlain; photographer Richard Avedon.

Thomas \th(o)-mas\ is pronounced TAH-mas. It is of Aramaic origin, and its meaning is "twin". Biblical: one of the 12 apostles known as "doubting Thomas" as he has an unusual mixture of pessimism and zealous faith. Some say his full name was Judas Thomas (Judas the Twin), and the nickname distinguished him from Judas Iscariot. The name has been popular since the 12th-century martyr Thomas à Becket. Other saints include Thomas Aquinas and Thomas More. Tomás (toh-MAHS) is a Spanish form. President Thomas Jefferson; inventor Thomas Edison;