Old Fools Journal: Things I Don't Get

A sure sign of spring seen from my bike yesterday.

When I was a teenager I thought that I would never be like the old people (anybody over 20) and be uncool. I thought I would change with the times, always be up to date and understand why other people did what they did. (I also vowed to never make the same mistake twice. Ha!) Little did I know that I didn't yet have enough information to make those assumptions. Some of the things that I thought uncool then were trivial superficial things such as haircuts. I wore my hair longish and in a duck tail which was all the rage. I thought my dad's conventional male cut parted on the side and short was corny. He asked once to define corny I embarrassingly could not do it and still can't although now when I think of something as corny I usually like it. As I got older and experienced every kind of hairstyle there is, I one day realized I was taking in information and forming an understanding that there were many correct cool styles. That understanding carried over into all areas of my life. There are many clothing styles, hair styles, religion styles, music styles and life styles and none is superior to any other. Who am I to judge which is cool and which is not. I know now that the style of anything that fits you is "the" style to have. So now what you see is what I am. I don't do anything to affect a style in anything but I do consciously avoid doing anything that will cause me to present an image that has to be maintained. My daughter says I'm unpredictable. I take that as a good thing.

What I am leading up to is that there are things I just don't get. I don't judge them uncool or cool. I'm not making fun or belittling them. In most cases I just don't understand them. Even when I was very young I never made fun of or sneered at someone different from whatever the momentary norm was. I went so far as to defend them even though I didn't get what ever it was that made them the target. In retrospect that was probably done because I knew that someday I could be in their shoes so it wasn't altruistic. I didn't realize then that was not normal behavior and I paid the price.

With that in mind here are some things I don't get. I'm sure the list is not all inclusive.

1. Spectator sports. At first I thought I just didn't get American football but it turns out I don't get any of it.
I admit liking woman's softball but I was there for the social activity. I got hooked because of the girl's intensity. Not having balls to walk around they drop all pretense and go in for the kill. The same with girls soccer(real football) but my girls were playing so that probably doesn't count.
If spectator sports is seen as a group social event then I get that and I don't have to know a damn thing about the particular sport itself.

2. Tattooes. I understand if it is mandatory or a required ritualistic religious thing but otherwise in a educated and sort of enlightened society I don't get it. I don't condemn it I just don't get it. Most look like a bad bruise to me. I don't condemn anyone for getting them I just don't get it. Some see it as art but I want to change the pictures on my wall occasionally. Hard to do with a tattoo.

3. Body piercing. Same as tattoos. Back when I thought we were an enlightened civilization I wondered why those that punch holes in their body didn't just go the full route and wear a bone in their nose and a cup in their lower lip. Now they are doing that and I really don't get it.

4. Self- flagellation. This includes cigarette smoking. Like all S.F. it's not good for you, it doesn't feel good , it may cause early unpleasant death, it is unpleasant for others, messy and it is very expensive. Smoking requires going through an uncomfortable and sometimes sickening adjustment period in order to feel sort of normal when smoking. Then if you elect to quit reversing the procedure is self punishment on a grand scale. I have been there so I know what I'm talking about. Beating oneself with sticks, whips or a piece of barbed wire is totally beyond my comprehension.

5. Control freaks. I don't get them. It's looks like work and requires constant attention. It can't be very satisfying as you are never finished and apparently day to day progress is unsatisfactory as well. At least those that practice it avoid me as the return for effort put out makes it just not worth it to even start. Besides it's hard to control someone whose ass is disappearing over the horizon. I think it was Snoopy that said "there is no problem so big that it cannot be run away from" or was it Charlie Brown.

6. Torture. Mental or physical I don't get it but there are plenty of humans that do. Put an ad in the paper for a torturer this evening and there will be a line around the block by morning. Americans are now known around the world for taking the righteous high ground against it, then practicing it and the courts now condone it. I just can't believe my ears when I hear supposed adults discussing the merits of it. There is no argument that will ever make me get it.

7. Watching TV. Not so much watching TV but watching the same stories over and over in the many minor variations. There are a few things I want to see again usually because I didn't absorb all I wanted on the first go around or I want a reminder of what the pleasure was when I watched it the first time. Watching endless "Law and Order" episodes I don't get. Same story over and over with the same results for the most part. I don't get watching mediocre people doing mediocre things. I get why "they" are doing that I don't get why I should watch them. I don't get watching an endless succession of hour long stories where people are graphically cut, stabbed, shot, hacked, hung, beheaded, chainsawed and torn limb from limb in glorious color.

8. Mardi Gras. I don't get it. Everyone gets drunk and watch each other driving around in vehicles that would not be allowed on the road normally, throwing bundles of beads at each other. They also throw other things such as toys and beer bottles. It's one of the times of year that homophobic men can go out in public as flamboyant drag queens. New Orleans invites you to sin then jails you if you do. I guess it started out as something to do with religion but knowing that, I really don't get it.

9. Religion. I get the need for it. An understanding that came to me when I was self studying comparative religions in my youth looking for understanding. I get the need for different levels of complexity from straight worshiping a rock to beyond the need to worship at all. What I don't get is the one against the other killing and enslavement. Why is it necessary to kill someone who holds their mouth different than another when praying. It goes on with all religions and I don't get it. I fully understand someone who needs religion at some level or other in order to be good. I guess since I don't need a reward or fear of punishment in order to be good I'll likely never get it.

10. Praying when the boat is sinking. Seems like bailing would be the thing to do first, pray later. I see this all the time (congressmen holding a prayer service instead of doing their job) and I don't get it. How about let's hold a prayer service then go dig up that guy who was just buried alive in an avalanche. I'm glad that prayer service prior to putting out a fire has not been adopted by the fire department.

This is the short list of things I don't get and I suspect will never get. There are many more I'm sure and you Dear Reader probably have some I never thought of. I think it's all a matter of my own internal wiring.