I ask "How fast does it go?" and he said "Fast enough". On further questioning I found that it went 6 knots. "One hundred and forty four nautical miles in a day" he said "during which time I sleep, read and eat. I also do repairs and keep watch. In 21 days I can be more than 3000 N miles from here". I had never thought of it that way. Breathing in and out, sleeping, reading and just living and letting the wind take me away. I fell for it and went sailing. -Tom Swaim-

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Sunday, December 26, 2010

Old Fools Journal: Christmas 2010

We went through the motions but really without children and friends there is no Christmas. We ate, we drank and we exchanged gifts but it was all just going through the motions. No guest, no children and no phone calls. Grandma is sick but I think she is past the danger part at least I hope so. The weather turned bitter cold. To some it may not be bitter cold but to us thin bloods it is the kind of windy cold that goes through your skin straight to the heart of your bones.

I am happy to say there was no arguing, yelling or crying this year just a general feeling of sadness. The crying will come later as I'm sure it is only postponed. Our grandson has been on his best behavior and has been our bright spot. If we don't see the Princess this season it will be the first since her birth. That is likely to be the case.

This may seem like a depressing post but actually it's not. It's an over the hump post and that time of limbo time between Christmas and new years that is just a waiting period. Waiting for it to be over, all signs of it obliterated and to get on with life.

I'm spending a lot of time in my cave of reflection. Reflection on the past present and future. The past because it's worth remembering, even the bad times bring back memories of good people, good pets and good times. The present? Not so much but I am thankful to have plenty and not have to sally forth to do battle.

My time is spent thinking of the future and how I can make this time a better time next year. Maybe we'll go south but that will mean knuckling under to the bureaucrats and getting another passport. Not likely to happen.

SWMBO had the TV on this morning so we saw the list of those who died this past year. Most were younger than I and some I thought had been dead for years. I really should keep up more I guess.

It's time for some noon coffee and I just happen to have some Irish Cream to go in it compliments of a really beautiful old woman who always seems to pick the right stuff.

I am about out of firewood so I'll be back on the inadequate electric heat soon. I was hoping the firewood fairy would come but it hasn't happened. When the wind dies down a little I'll cut some more. I guess that I am the fire wood fairy as usual. I need to work off the ham, potato salad, fruit salad, Hawaiian bread, chips, salsa, candy, Irish cream and red wine. As you can see I didn't hold back and I didn't just sample. The only thing we didn't have was fried turkey but it was just too windy to do it. We would never have gotten the pot hot enough and frying a turkey on the porch is a good way to burn your house down.

There are plenty of left overs so I think I'll go have some and see if I can get my creative juices flowing again.


Sue G. said...

I know what you mean Old Fool, not the same without family around you. But it's just another day and once it's all over there's another day to look forward to. Happy New Year to you and to SWMBO

Emmy said...

Merry Christmas, OF

Gwen Buchanan said...

yes, Jan 2,3,4,5 and so on will be here before we know it... Time has a way of never speeding up for the bad times and never slowing down for the good times.. ... you haven't been working on any new Time machines have you..

Ben in Texas said...

Yep, OF. I know the feeling,sittin around here at holidays that used to be filled with people and noise just ain't the same. THAT and maybe suffering from some Seasonal Adjustment Disorder huh?

Dizzy-Dick said...

We just didn't do anything special, no tree, no decorations, no gifts, and very simple food and not much of it. Still, it was a good day to be alive. Do miss the old times with family and friends.

Oakland, CA said...

I didn't even go through the motions, and you know what...it's actually more depressing. Things just aren't the same without friends/family around.

Bob from Athens said...

Christmas day with my 87 year old Mother and 82 year old Aunt. Reflecting on the past and wondering if they will be blessed with one more next year. Ahhhh, getting old is definitely not for wimps!!

Gunnar Berg said...

My only child is 12 time zones away, but we had two days of family visitors. The first, my family, is always an awkward gathering, and was true to form. The last of Lorna's family has just left. My nieces and nephews are now of child bearing age. We had two year old Signe to entertain us and at the meal there was an announcement of another pending baby. Young couples have babies and foresee a beautiful future. Life goes on - sometimes with us, sometimes without us. Cherish those that are with you.

Johann Rissik said...

Melancholic moments indeed. Christmas, in my experience, can be fraught with family tensions. As it's all about a religion I don't belong to, I'm trying hard to distance myself from it. This year worked well. Quiet, peaceful, no family drama, I guess Jesus would have approved?

Steven Cain said...

I could lend you some of my autism.

That particular part of the brain, which brings about said longing during a Christmas, devoid of family and friends, on me, was neutered at birth.

Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays, etc... the need to gather and celebrate doesn't even occur to me. Which is probably a good thing, seeing how I'm a right smart mess in a crowd of huggy people.

Sorry, I need to know a week in advance about the firewood. I though you knew.

rlove2bike said...

This was the first year our middle son and his wife were were not home for our family gathering. I missed them...wasn't the same.

We have been keeping the fire going up here. Yesterday, I cleaned the chimney and put a new gasket on the door.

I hope the best to you and SWMBO....oooooo irish cream.

John Romeo Alpha said...

Some of the gifts exchanged in my cave this xmas could be construed as dark comedy due to tragic misqueues and misunderstandings. If one cared to think about how mistaken we were in what we thought the other wanted, one would cry. Or laugh one of those maniacal, sad/angry laughs. It's very possible that what we really want is whatever it is we can't have; thus the maniacal, forlorn laughter/tears around old tannenbaum.

Lord Wellbourne said...

Seems to me you had the kind of day that the Christian thieves of Celtic Yule had in mind--reflections before the fire of what was and taking an accounting of what you have. Grateful for most and wise acceptance of the rest.

Happy Yule to you both!

Oldfool said...

Such great people. To bad we couldn't have this season together physically but electronically will have to do. I knew when I wrote this post that I was not alone in my feelings and all its variations. I'm sure there are plenty more that won't or can't talk about it.
It's neither a happy time or sad time and everything would be acceptable if it weren't for this empty spot in my heart.
It was 27 degreens F this morning at 0700 and had been below freezing since about 9:00 the night before. For a change I was ready but I think I only have enough wood for one more night. Steven the wood fairy has informed me that he needed two weeks notice. Hell two weeks ago I had plenty of wood.

This is obviously my fate or I wouldn't be here doing this. I am grateful for my health and how kind aging has been for me. I have wished in the past to be cold and unfeeling but when I observe those who are I see that they have far worse problems than I and there I go feeling for them. So I accept it.
The Aged wife, her majesty the Queen, was better Christmas day and managed for once to delegate task she had no business doing to others. She is back in bed today and is too weak to fight off my demands that she rest, stay warm and give her body the chance to heal.
My gift shopping this year for the very first time was going to the bank and getting an envelope full of fifty dollar bills. How simple that is and no one got something useless and destined for the garbage. No wasted wrapping paper, ribbons, boxes or things to return just smiles. I didn't have to spend anytime in stores fighting off anger. It may seem crass but it doesn't even come close to the crass commercialism I see around me.
There is absolutely nothing religious about our christmas. Our Santa 'bot that bends over and farts while going ho,ho,ho, is as close as it comes. The christian version of christmas like the rest of the bible has no humor in it but then none of the major religions have any humor in them.
I's over, it's done but I hope it comes around again next year.
Now what am I going to do with all this ham and potato salad?

Gunnar Berg said...

"Now what am I going to do with all this ham and potato salad?"

Make lemonade. Very bizarre lemonade.