Old Fools Journal: St Patricks Day and Look what showed up

Today was my annual inspection of the VA clinic in Houma, Louisiana. It was spotless, efficient, courteous and very friendly as usual. My favorite vampire was her usual painless efficient self. About the time you start to get tensed up she is finished.

As you can see I brought them some St Patricks Day entertainment. Picture was taken by the head man himself at his request. He is probably running it through Interpol now.

There are three descriptive names for what we wear. There is the 'ensemble' and the' outfit' and then there is the 'get up'. There is a forth but it is more of a question and that is "what team did you say you a playing for"? Criticism not required as I threw this getup together this morning early and I know what it lacks. It probably shocked some of the local ignorants but it did not cause anyone to want to fight. It did bring a lot of smiles and some very friendly conversation plus picture taking. I was home having breakfast by 0900.

This bandit showed up about a week ago. Looks like he is staying for awhile. His spring juices are flowing and he is a horny bastard. The kittens are getting use to the idea but not without resistance.Here is one resisting.

Spring is gnawing at me daily. Things to be done and I am wallowing in it trying to do everything at the same time getting little done in the process. Of course since I cannot seem to shut up I will tell all.

Old Fools Journal: Life Happens or If I had a Job I would have to quit to take care of my personal life.

The kilt gets attention but mostly the complaints are from men. Most women are not offended at all nor do they feel threatened. Some men appear to feel threatened and most derogatory remarks are just silly indicating insecurity. I am happy to say that some of my readers are silly (thankfully) but all seem to be mature adults in matter such as these.The first asparagus of the season. Sweet and tender. Too good to cook. Eat them like candy from the garden. I ate these before Friday and I am glad because when the "blood letter" with the knives finished working in my mouth I was not in the mood for food. I thought he ruined my pie hole but it is getting better. At least now it doesn't hurt. I have gotten really familiar with various soups. Tomorrow I can have soft food. I think SWMBO (she who must be obeyed) has mashed potatoes and steak gravy planned for me. I love it but I think she is trying to kill me with good food. I no longer can eat corn on the cob, tacos or an apple but if I can get it past the gapping hole where my front teeth use to be then it's done for.

The surgeon called me last night to see if I was OK. I have not experienced anything like that in many years. I told him not to worry I had plenty of drugs and was feeling no pain. I ain't into pain.

The pain lately has been the computer and only because I have not been in the mood. My new computer came with Windows 7 and I decided to use it as long as it would work. I cannot say that it has been difficult. The only problem is that Windows only speaks windows and I have other stuff. Fortunately I still have a backup Linux machine that can interpret for Microsoft. I don't expect windows to last long. The way I use a computer MS windows goes south in about 6 months.

Microsoft wants you to use only their stuff and I don't. Most all my work is on the internet somewhere so I can work from any computer. The rest is on separate backup drives.

I don't take this computer stuff any more seriously than I would a radio. If one does not work move on to one that does. I used to be a geek but now I only want to know where the on/off switch is.

That 7 by 7 inch square is it. Don't look like much does it. Pencil is for scale. The backup USB hard drive is nearly half this size.

Wireless keyboard and mouse came with it. I have small hands so these fit me very well.

This report is not a complaint just a report of life happening. This poor guy only ran out of gas which seems to happen a lot these days however when he comes back he will find that life is happening for him too.

Old Fools Journal:DoesThis Make Me Look Fat? or Why would anyone care what I wear under me kilt?

Why anyone would care to look at an old man in a skirt mystifies me but since you ask here it is. This is the Wallace tartan I just received (Birthday present from me). I really like red and black but the real reason for this one is my deceased step-son is a Wallace. He is gone but not forgotten.

The material has a wool look and feel but it is acrylic. The good part is it is easy to sew, holds a crease, machine washable and most importantly feels really sexy against your skin. The bad part is it burns like a fuse.

This one is from Stillwater Kilts in Minnesota and is the cheapest on the market. I can't buy the Tartan for the price of the kilt so I buy these then custom fit them for me. This one is going to be fitted with my first attempt at slash pockets.

I thought I was getting a head start on a failing computer but I just made it under the wire. After transferring everything to the new computer I decided to clean and straighten up some wiring. When finished and upon starting the computers the old one refused to boot. It did not just refuse to boot but refused to even do the pre-start check. It is now a shelf or a boat anchor.

It has some components I can and will use and the aluminum case will probably be used in the next project that requires some thin sheet aluminum stock. It has been a good machine and will live on.

The specs are: Refurbished E Machine bought in 2004. It was not state of the art then, it is an antique now.

The new machine is another refurbished E Machine less than a fifteenth the size of the old one, twice the features and half the price.

A full report is coming soon.It's name is Eryna MacHine.

Old Fools Journal: What the Hell Flora Belle here we are again

<-MOM

Well against all odds I have made another circumnavigation of Sol our local star. That is approximately another 583 million American miles or what the rest of the world would call 938 million kilometers. Americans do not like to be like the rest of the world. Just because another measuring system makes better sense does not mean Americans will go for it after all it is not American. What else do you expect of a country that changes scientific results to fit politics.

So grandma Flora Belle and I are celebrating, if you can call it that, another birthday. She is 143 today but she is quite dead.

My birthdays always are a celebration of my mother for me. After all that was when I met her face to face. Face to face is not usually what you would call poking your head out of a hole between someones legs but in this case it is just a figure of speech. The only thing different between me and a turd is a couple of inches. It is a good thing we do not remember our birth I guess. It happened to everyone unless you come out through the belly like in the movie "Alien". In the stories even Jesus Christ used that portal. I do not know for sure because I was not there.

Except for Hay-sus Cristo everyone's mother had sex and more than once. Most enjoyed it without even thinking about what was to come (pun not intended). I hope my mother got the full benefit. She sure deserved it. If she was anything like her offspring she liked it a lot. For her moments of pleasure she received plenty of work, pain and heartache and she never flinched.

Every year at this time I atone for my transgressions and remember that grand woman I call MOM.

This picture was taken at my paternal grandparents in 1941. I was two. I suspect that by this time the new had worn off but she never let me know it.

I was her darling baby boy right up until she made the great escape to that final peaceful place. She never berated me and always had a smile for me.


My new kilt came this morning in the regular mail at 10:30 AM. I ordered it Wednesday from StillwaterKilts.com located in Minnesota. That is quick and they are known for that. It is a casual, lightweight kilt made of acrylic and it is as cheap as pants. I like the feel of this fabric on my skin.
To my surprise SWMBO (she who must be obeyed) enthusiastically offered to hem it. I was not looking forward to that job so of course I accepted. Normally I like to sew but today I'm a little shaky for some reason and sewing was likely to be a bloody affair. I am a compact version of a real person so naturally almost everything I buy is too long.

It is machine washable and only looks like the heavy weight kilts made with 8 yards of wool the traditionalist are so fond of. It will cover my ass and if I happen to get potting soil, dog slobber or bicycle on it no big deal. I like to sew the material but you really do not want to get it near fire. Burns like a fuse. The tartan is Wallace.

I have one of these in the Blackwatch tartan and intend to get one in Irish National by St. Patrick's day. This kilt is supposed to be worn with a sporran but I am going to try my hand at retrofitting it with slash pockets. I will try to get some pictures of it soon.All these wine bottles showed up today and they are all full. Good wines all and way to good for me. My regular wine come in a plastic bag inside a cardboard box and I like it. This will be a nice change for starting but after a couple of glasses I might as well go back to the cheap stuff because at that point I am drinking for effect not taste.

A glass will be raised by me to Gramma Flora Belle tonight.
and thanks mom I hope I get to do this again next year.
One time free plug for stillwater

Old Fools Journal: Dickmas Eve

Dick, short for Dickie, being the nickname my mother gave me makes tonight Dickmas eve. It was the only mean thing she ever did to me. I expect it will be like any other night filled with wine drinking and revelry or something like that.

Yesterday was library day but I fucked off instead. Today is thrift store day but I am one day behind so I went to the library today. I can go to the Thrift Store tomorrow. I don't mind being thought of as weird but I do not want to be thought of as purposely stupid so I drove my 24 year old car using $3.25 (that is three dollars and twenty five cents boys and girls) a gallon gasoline. The stupid never know they are stupid that is why they are called stupid. If I wanted to purposely be thought of as stupid I could belt my pants around my thighs. I really wanted to ride my bike but it is raining and windy so not wanting to appear too stupid I drove. I realize that driving two miles for those trivial reasons is stupid in itself but whatever. Wet and miserable was not acceptable as long as I had spare change in my pocket. The alternative would be do nothing and sit on the money I would save while it gets worth less and less. I drove but I licked my lips while I did it so as to get the most out of it.

I brought home "America"-the book and "Earth"-the book by Jon Stewart and "Leviathan" by Scott Westerfield. I also brought two movies "Time Bandit" and "the Chronicles of Narnia" so expect nothing productive from me this weekend. Tomorrow being Dickmas you should not anyway.

While I am on the subject I watched the "Finding Neverland" last week for the second time. It was just as good as the first time and I shed another bitter/sweet tear. It is about the creator of Peter Pan. If you are a hard hearted old bastard then forget it but if you do not mind having your innermost tender feelings tweaked a bit this ought to do it.

My computer is showing signs of old age and so is my backup so I ordered a new one. Another refurbished one. A little tiny thing. It is hard to believe how cheap usable PCs are now. I will be tending to that heartache next week. I can not believe I am actually doing this before the old one started letting the magic smoke that makes it work out. That is so out of character. Maybe I am getting a little wiser as I get older. Nah.

My birthday present to me is a new cheap Pakistani made Kilt in the Wallace tartan. Wallace was the last name of my deceased step-son. He was a good guy that loved life and made others love life which is what got him killed. In his name I am supporting something for the Pakistani to do besides kill each other for Allah. Life is not fair but it is still good.

I will be making a few adjustments to this kilt and some major changes. I would have made it myself but I cannot buy the material for what I paid for the kilt. It will do.

At 0245 in the morning I will have completed 72 orbits of Sol outside my mothers body. I imagine that 72 years ago right about now mom was not feeling all that good.

More about this tomorrow if I am able.

Old Fools Journal: Skirts

It puzzles me that women in the USA, at least the part I'm in, have such an aversion to skirts and dresses. Women in the greater part of the western world seem to have adopted the worst of mens wear as their uniform. Most make it as drab and lifeless as men do. Most of the people in most of the world have worn some version of skirts or dresses until recent history, say the last 500 years. Some form of skirt or dress is in use til this day in most of the world by men and women. I don't see clothing as gender specific but that's just me and I am in the minority here in redneck country.

Many see skirts as woman's clothes but tell that to the a Scot and you will be corrected especially if he is drinking and wearing a Kilt. Don't call his Kilt a skirt or you'll also probably hear the word "fuck" more times in one sentence than you thought possible. Mention it to a fireman in a bagpipe band and you will be dismissed as too ignorant and inexperienced to deal with. He probably won't be buying you a beer.

The pope and his minions wear dresses. I think nobody notices because of the funny hats. I doubt Jesus had any pants(trousers). Come to think of it he probably didn't wear underwear either. I won't mention Mohammad in pants for fear of death threats. I don't believe the supreme court justices are wearing pants under their black robes and if they are then I don't think they are smart enough to be a judge. No one thinks a fireman's pipe band or the Black Watch who are called the "Ladies From Hell" is a bunch of cross dressers. There is at least one place in the world where it is illegal for native men to wear pants and many where it is the norm for men to wear unbifurcated clothing. See more here.

Here in Southeast Louisiana thousands of men look forward to Mardi Gras every year so they can get into dresses and skirts (panties and bras too). Sorry but I ain't ever gonna unnerstan mardi gras.

It is not the intention of this post to further the wearing of skirts for men as I wear what I want when I want. If it's appropriate I wear kilts, sarongs or a liene (tunic). Leine is the Gaelic word for "shirt". It doesn't actually refer to any particular kind – it can be is used for any sort of shirt. In my case, thanks to the culture here, long knee length T-shirts are readily available. Men and boys wear them here with baggy pants so you won't think it's a dress. It doesn't work. They also wear knee length nylon basketball shorts that look so much like a skirt that they might as well be.

I also wear shorts, long trousers, knickers and dress slacks when called for. I don't wear jump suits because at my age it takes to long to shed those things when nature calls. I don't wear mens suits because I have no occasion to and I don't have one. They are too much like a uniform anyway. I own no ties.

What I would like to further, however, is women and girls wearing skirts and dresses. Females do not wear mens style of clothing any better than men but they do excel at wearing skirts and dresses far better than any male. I am not going to try to analyze that but the ladies I've talked to about it agree even though most admitted liking a man in a kilt. I do very much appreciate those women and girls that are so empowered by the knowledge that women can do anything men can and they can do it in a dress and with a flair. A female in a dress or skirt, no matter what the body shape or age, looks better than in pants (trousers). The power they can wield is unfair but so far I haven't been able to find the clause that states that life is fair. If I ever find it I'll write about it here.

Men, try to be fun and pleasant. Maybe when we are no longer needed for breeding women may keep us around for entertainment. From what I've seen that is the only reason we're around now except for inertia. Read about that here.

Oh yeah and to wage wars.

Old Fools Journal: Breathing Underwater

This weekend was so humid the going outdoors was like breathing underwater. At least yesterday it was. Today it's raining so it's cooler and the the air is more satisfying to take in. I have been trying to get back to riding my bike at least a little bit everyday but for the most part I don't find riding in the rain all that much fun. Sometimes it is but most times not. Besides riding down the street in the rain screeching in my highest wicked witch voice "I'm melting, I'm melting" makes people look at me sideways.
Seemed like a good time to finish some sewing projects that I've been putting off for a year or so (conservation of energy) and to catch up on my reading. So I transformed my hovel into a sewing room and went to work. I had more stuff to do than a thought on Kilts that went back to my first one. I put in about 6 hours at the machine and hand sewing and still didn't get finished.

The surprising thing to me about sewing is how messy it is. As you can see I have the iron and the ironing board out and a couple of sewing kits plus the machine. Sewing with a machine is wasteful of thread as I always have lots of thread ends and tangles I've had to clear away after I screw up. The floor ends up littered with thread and scraps of cloth not to mention the wet crap I track in when its raining.

Sewing is, like working on bicycles, very satisfying for some reason. It can also be frustrating as in when I start to get tired and the machine and I have a disagreement. Sewing machines are like computers. You have to do everything exactly right. I am happy to say that today I mostly did.

Anyway I got it all done including ironing the shirts, one silk, one rayon and one cotton. What a pain in the ass. Oh well it's work I can do nekkid standing in front of the air conditioner and a fan.

Old Fools Journal: Bag Rock

Rock and Roll on the pipes and why not.



I've always wanted to play the pipes but the last time I tried I couldn't even blow up the bag. I was in my thirties then and in excellent shape. I know I couldn't do it now. Pity.

The bagpipe is the only musical instrument I know of that can bring the hardest heart to tears and yet has been used as a fearsome weapon of war scattering grown men before it like leaves in the wind.

I imagine in the beginning at the "The Big Bang" that it sounded like the big drums of the native Americans accompanied by the bagpipes and I imagine that the end will sound the same.

Wearing a kilt
at the
end of time
might
be
drafty.

Old Fools Journal: What? Not another Lamp

This very utilitarian adjustable brass lamp was waiting for me on my last visit to the Goodwill Store. It had a brass tube attached to the wall block that reached to the ceiling with the cord in it so obviously it was meant to be retrofitted in a room that had no wall outlet.

It's perfect for my needs which is a lamp that can be adjusted out into the main salon here when I have my sewing tables set up. I can now pretty much eliminate all the weird shadows on my work. I removed the tube of course and it will go for some future project I'm sure. I replaced the broken switch in the top of the wall block. It's wired to come on with another lamp over my desk so I can turn it off when I only want the desk lamp.This lamp came from the same Goodwill store and I actually bought it for the parts several months ago. I have one like it but in better shape that I use as a table lamp (pictured below). It was missing a knob for the switch and another little brass piece that this one had.
My favorite table lamp. Brass, copper plated with brass, completely adjustable and a pretty round stone in the base. What more can a boy want.I've tried to get a closeup of the stone but it refuses. It is the kind of stone that one stares into when one is doing certain drugs. Or so I'm told.
Extended.

I thought this lamp was solid brass but it turns out that it's some solid brass and a lot of brass plated copper but that's OK too. The lamp is shown partially extended in this picture which as I said earlier alleviates the shadow problem when I have the work tables set up. Some one had painted the brass base with high quality black paint. Such barbarians. They did a good job but it was butt ugly. (Why do people use that term for very ugly? I happen to like butts and I don't find them ugly.) I quickly stripped it off with some earth deadening toxic chemicals. This stuff not only strips paint but makes you happy while killing your brain cells and giving you lung cancer. I need to get more.
As happens I had an occasion to use the lamps today. One of my kilts needed some modification to make a buckle work comfortably. That's it hanging from the machine under the sewing table. I have three tables that I use together in several configurations depending on the project. A kilt needs a lot of table space. The green thing on the left side is the settee that converts to a cutting table and then to an ironing table when constructing a kilt. Sometimes it converts to a nap table. The only problem with this trial run were that the bulbs do not give enough light. These bulbs were meant to be decorative not to give light. I have been using good quality fluorescent in the summer that are equal to 100 watt incandescent bulbs in light output. I am looking forward to replacing those for summer use with led's when they get affordable. In the winter I change to incandescent lights for the heat.

There are six lamps in this view. One is a candle lamp. I do love the light and the light givers.

Old Fools Journal: Death of a Thousand Cuts or working with tin roofing

This could be titled "suicide of a thousand cuts". I don't mean to cut myself it just that when I get near anything sharp............

It's not that I suffered any serious cuts or very many (today at least) it's that I bleed easily and for a long time so unless I want everything the color of blood I have to stop. I get very impatient. The gloves pictured above are essential without them my hands would be sliced.

Thanks to Pop for the metal shears. They cut through that heavy gauge galvanized metal roofing like it was butter. This metal roofing cuts through me like I am butter.
It was 90 degrees and 84 percent humidity. I have a hand towel that is soaked but I am in the shade, a breeze has come up and it's nearly time for lunch.The generator/bike shelter is coming along. Most all materials are re-purposed, found, scavenged or leftover from other projects. The exceptions are some of the fastenings, cement mix(bought on sale) and 5 joist hangers. This is to be a shelter not an enclosed space.

The red bags on the bike seats are to keep the cats off. They otherwise like to claw the seats. Destructive animals.

The kilt is of my own design and made by me of a very light weight polyester. It's what some call the American tartan (camo) and is truly wash and wear. Perfect for this climate.

Old Fools Journal: New Kilt

This post falls under the rule of "Say what you'll do then do what you say" because I can't really see why anyone would be interested in yet another homemade kilt. There is only so much you can say about them but I said I would so here it is.

This one is woven flannel because I really like the feel of woven flannel against my skin summer or winter. I don't care much for the cheaper printed flannel. This is called shirting flannel. I got it on sale so there is about $2.50 USD here. The apron and under apron are 1/3 my waist measurement and there are fifteen 2 1/4 inch knife pleats and one reverse pleat. It is considered a casual contemporary kilt as opposed to what is considered a traditional kilt however what is traditional is anybody's guess. There is 4 yards of material in this one and 10 inches of that is in the pocket. This stuff is easy to cut and sew except that when putting on the waist band it has a tendency to creep when machine sewing. If I were making it for someone else I would have to learn to control that but since I'm not I think I'll leave that frustration for another time.

It is held closed with Velcro so it is easy on and off as a lounging kilt should be. I have it folded here to show the pleats and the single cargo pocket. The pocket is held on with safety pins temporarily until I decide exact placement.

Flannel is not a good material for a kilt because the softness that I like about it also makes it not hold a pleat well. I don't really care as it will be used around the house and yard. When it is freshly pressed I would not be ashamed to be seen in it anywhere.

I have enough material left to make a shirt but I have a lifetime supply of shirts. I could make some shorts but I have a lifetime supply of them as well. I think in a temperate climate that a well dressed man needs only one kilt, one pair of shorts, one pair of long pants, one jacket, one cap or hat, two shirts, two pair of socks ( Ideally one should live where socks are unnecessary) and one towel. The shorts and long pants are really just a luxury as the kilt can take the place of both. The only real reason for more is because it's cold. All else is vanity.

When I was living on my boat further south I limited my self most of the year to one pair of shorts, one shirt and one towel. Made laundry easy.

If more detail is desired just ask.